Going Back
by XEleanorX
Summary: Very pro MayaXPheonix love story during Apollo Justice events. Chapter 3 and 4 are down and ready for reading.
1. Chapter 1

Maya & Pheonix

Chapter One ~ Recollection ! I wake up amidst a mountain of assorted paper work (Ewww...Did I dribble)  
The clock's ticking incessantly. I was intending to dismount it from its position on the wall. Its too loud.  
(What IS the time, anyway)  
I look to the face of the clock ammersed in darkness it would be difficult to see if it wasnt for the beams of moonlight filtering through the blinds. Its highlighting the hour and minute hands. 4:00 a:m. I imagine the Clock laughing at my expense.  
I look again at the hill and valleys of paper that have become my office.  
(Geez,Maya)  
Its a an extensive collection of forms, reports, slips and other assorted office paraphenlia, dating months and months old. Dust and paper appear to be great friends.  
(Why cant I ever get this paper work done?) Its a valid yet unanswered question. Usually the smell of food calls to the bottomless pit that is my stomach. Or I feel too tired. Still growing after all. Or Pearl wants to watch a little vintage Steel Samurai. Numerous answers,  
numerous distractions. But tonight was going to be different. Niether food not sleep would dissuade me from my purpose.  
But it was there,harboured memories and thoughs... , revolving in my mind again and again . Shiny with its reflective surface. Small and gold, slightly burnished and worn with its age. He didnt ever look after it.  
But it wasn't that old. It was his badge. The badge that worn numerous cases, the badge they thought would continue to win case after case. But didn't as of Yesterday.  
(He was disbarred...) That morning I had watched the news on the vintage black and white set. Our only T.V within the Kurainn community, called 'snowy' because of its grainy flake snow storm on perhaps every channel we had bar one.  
It was headline news as anything relating to him ever was. He was a revelation to the world that is law, known for his ability to bluff and his association with the impossible, he accepted the rejected and neglected cases that appeared beyond saving. He was always their representitive.  
And what does a successful underdog proffessional require? a sidekick..a partner in crime...etc, etc? BINGO! And I, a 17 year old Maya Fey was just that, the 'plucky' co-council as I recall the black and white prints referred to me as. I was his assistant and friend...I looked at him with admiration even if he didn't know that. I looked at him with the eyes of a teenage girl and her crush. I can smell all the aftershave he wore, feel all the textures of his suits see the handsome sillouhette of his face, in the dark, projecting against the wall as he opened the door to come into my bedroom...and he did so every night for months. The months we had stolen for ourselves before I had I would have to go home, to Kurain. As I sit here in the dark, I open my heart and my mind to the memories once again and everytime I do I promise myself I wont do it again because each time I reflect on my feelings for him, I conclude that I loved him and I still do. I can see our fingertips enclosing as we wait for the bus in the rain, the warmth of his breath against my cheek as he goes to kiss it. I see him laughing, his eyes and smile illuminating the room. Like sunshine.  
The floodgates of my memory open and every feeling and thought they ever contained comes tumbling out and as I sit here in the dark, the clock ticking away the minutes, the moon enhancng my reverie, I realise Im crying. I know I miss him. I miss Nick. But then it came to an end. One night at Eldoon's noodle bar had decided that for me 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 ~ Noodles & Butterflies.

I wake again, heavy fringe ruffled, paritally drowned in my sea of yellow paprwork. (I dribbled again, didn't I?). I look at the clock on the wall (9:oo am??...oh...SHOOT!...fell asleep again..) I stumble from my chair at my desk, feet caught in layer upon layers of robe.

(Stupid traditional regulation robes..) I catch my appearance in an ornate floor length mirror hung awkwardly to the left. I look like a drunk woman on heat. I attempt to smooth my fringe down but my folicols refuse to do as they're told. Great. I can see the disorder of the day already.  
I exit my office and make a beeline towards the manor dining hall, the smell of noodles is keen and my stomach reacts accordingly. BWARRLARG.  
It grumbles. 9 hours without food, definately starved.

I enter the dining hall and see the rows and rows of purple clad mediums. From as young 4 to 30, the fey mediums all sit here together to eat their breakfast. We sit together like the family that we are. Men included.

Things had developed alot for the Kurain Village and for the Fey clan, despite my incompetance for paperwork I think I've done an okay job as Master. I intergrated the men of our family to feel more included, to have more purpose. They became plumbers and builders to expand our homes and Teachers to tutor our students in our history and our heritage. A few of the stronger became bodyguards to mediums who required protection from the few who remained hostile towards us. It was a resounding sucess even If I do say so myself, we have higher counts of male population then ever recorded. I feel the Fey Clan's reputation had been finally restored. I imagined my mother's and sister's pride in me.

"Mystic Maya!!" a familiar voice calls me from across the dining hall. There I see seated at the end of the hall's bench, is Pearly. I smile.  
She's grown so much, physically she reminds me of Mia. Long light brown hair cascading down her purple acolyte robes, gone are the days of the traditional hairdo she once wore as a young child. Her eyes are her own though, still retaining her childish innocence. Large, expressive.  
I wonder what 'he' would think of her now. I can see the same pride filled smile I have.

I cross the hall, waving at my best friend and cousin. The steam from the breakfast noodles radiates upwards like a heavy mist. It reacts with something put to the back of my mind. The steams fills my head and warms my face and Im there again. My memory opens up yet again and Im the rain again, at Eldoon's noodle stand. He's already there. Sat on a stool, head down, no doubt sunk in some complicated thought.  
Its two weeks before I have to go home, to Kurain Village and our time together is drawing to its close. He felt alot of complicated feelings then. I didn't. I knew exactly what I wanted.

I feel the butterflies in my stomach erupting. They've lived there since we became 're constant enduring exsistance confirms my feelings.  
I love him.

"Nick.." his name came out my mouth like a hurried whisper. "Maya... its time.." His voice is sombre, limp and reserved. There feels like theres an emotion behind which he's attempting to control "time for what?" I ask stupidly. I haven't sat down yet. I see black butterflies in my stomach. Those butterlfies aren't good. Those are butterflies of worry and knowing really what he's talking about.  
"To say our goodbyes. It was everything I could of wanted..." the hidden emotion in his voice leaks out slowly, I think I can hear his throat break underneath it,...is he crying? My heart feels weighted. It feels like its sinking.  
"You dont understand, Nick.." I attempt a half smile, tears forming in my eyes. "I-" Im stopped mid sentence.  
"Dont Maya. I already know. I already feel all that,always did. Different things are calling us" He rises from his stool with heavy effort.  
He leans in towards me, his mouth up against my neck. He tentively kisses it, setting my skin a light with feeling. He whipsers into my ear, quietly.  
"Goodbye". The last thing I feel of him is his warmth breath curling out of his lips, hot in a surrounding of cold air. Seconds go by and its already gone just like him,  
who is already walking away. My eyes are streaming with tears and like a little kid I try to be brave and dont attempt to stop him. Regret number one. The night air is stinkin my eyes but I can only hear the thud thud thud of my heart, aching, racing.I try to catch me breath. But then as I watch him get swallowed up into the sillouhettes of the statuesque buildings, I understand whats he's saying. Other things are calling us. Blank, fresh pages for me. Darker, unknown things for him. Much darker things.  
I cant prevent him nor sway from whatever it is that calls him. I dont want to hold him back. I stand alone in the street. Once again, Im crying and the butterflies in my tummy are all gone.

The talking and chatting of the diners eating their breakfast, noisely, brings me back from my sad daydream but the thud of my heart is still in my ear. Loud and clear and true. It aches all over again. 


	3. Chapter 3

Maya & Pheonix

Chapter ~ Definite.

During breakfast, I could barely eat. Pearls, who was seated beside me looked anxious. Naturally she understood my inability to eat meant something was amiss and she wore an adult frown that looked misplaced on her still youthful face. She clasped my wrist causing me to drop my chopsticks. "Mystic Maya, you're coming with me.." she said with a surprisingly bossy tone and with that I was dragged by my diminutive cousin to the Winding Way.

The small garden belonging to the winding way had expanded. Bonsai tree's are various sizes were alligned perfectly in grey sand to encourage harmony. A set of silver chimes hung from the tallest tree, tinkling gently in the light breeze that blew through the corrider. It was refreshing and relieved some of the heat that had gathered in my cheeks. The noodles were always too hot...but still, it was food....

Pearl sighs heavily, like she carried the weight of the world on her petite shoulders. "Mystic Maya...what is it?" she looked directly into my eyes, their clear blue somehow boreing into me, determined to find an honest answer. I couldn't lie to her...One, she'd find out and two...well she'd find out.  
"I've..I've been thinking 'bout a few things.." I'm reluctant to go into too much detail. Pearl was never aware of his and my relationship.  
I feared making her aware now would dredge up even more half-forgotten memories. I had taken quite enough trips down memory lane.  
"What things?" she asked, her head innocently cocked to one side. Pearl always was and always will be an odd concoction of mature adult and little kid, her quick transition between the two was even more bizarre. I decided to confess. Pearl didn't deserve anymore lies from anyone.  
"About Nick." I said. I attempted a lack of emotion in my voice but even his name made my heart sink from my chest into my stomach. "Mr Nick...are you worried about him?" She was referring to the headline we had read in the morning paper and had watched on 'Snowy'. She knew and understood what 'disbarred' meant after I explained it to her. She had looked concerned and tearful for her old friend. She had clasped my hand tightly and I sensed she was trying to comfort me. I say Pearl didnt know about myself and 'Nick' but when her smaller fingertips enclosed mine, I had the impression she knew more then I give her credit for. What would she think knowing that 'Mr Nick' had been my 'special someone'?

"Nick was my special someone!" It falls out of my mouth, clumsily. (What..the? MAYA, what were you thinking? Stupid, stupid woman. And special someone? What are you, 4??). I look at Pearl's perfectly oval face. She's blinking erractically and Im sure she hasn't taken a breath for a whole minute.I guess she cant believe it "Pearl?"  
She looks at me with complete eye contact again. "What kinda special someone?" she's asks with her left eyebrow raised in a suspicious expression. Pearl isn't a kiddie anymore and naturally a certain older cousin had to educate her on the birds and the bee's. To put it simply,  
Pearl now knew where babies came from. I gave Pearl a knowing look, a communication device that perhaps all females knew. "Ohhh...that kinda of of special someone". She grins, proud as punch. She believes it. "There was more too it then that" I can feel my face getting flushed with heat again,tears feeling heavy within my eyes.  
"Im sorry, Maya" said pearl with so much fondness in her voice that I finally felt the tears drop. Large and full. I look to floor in shame. I have to be stronger. I have to be grown up Maya now not infatuiated, naive Maya. He could click his fingers and I would come running, even now.  
"You love him, dont you.." She's not asking me a question, she's stating what we both know to be true. She places a tiny doll-like hand on my shoulder. Its warmth spreads through my robe. I appreciate it. Alot.  
"You have to go to him. I dont know what happened and perhaps I shouldn't but I do know he's alone and you cant forget him "  
"We've said our goodbyes, Pearls"  
"Then go say your 'hello's' again. I think your heart wants you to follow it" She smiles at me. A smile that confims everything. A smiles that confirms she's right. I have to go to him. My mind nor my heart will rest otherwise. Once again Pearl proved wiser then her years.

My heart pounds and pounds with aprehension, excitement, nervs, sickness, distress. Every emotion wrapped up together with a bow ontop.

I look into the sky with a sense of resolution. We did say our goodbyes once upon a time ago, but we'll be saying hello again. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 ~ Her Bedroom.

Disbarred. The word bares more meaning then I could ever think plausible. I see it in my head like a looming shadow swallowing up any masculine pride I pretended to have. A chip on my shoulder. A chink in my armour. The world watches my failure and without that old, burnished badge, I somehow feel half the person I was.  
Does she even have a television where she is? They definately have to have papers.  
It occurs to me looking at the photo of her in my wallet, the captured moment of her laughter, that I have no concern for what the world thinks. Its her. I think about her every day, my permanent thought but now I think she has to despise me even more now, more then she must have done that night. But its a release to have her despise me and curse me and regret the day she ever kissed me. Its like a release of air, like oxygen aiding me to breathe and function because if she despises me then I dont have to carry the leaded weight that is my guilt and my regret. I loved her, I did. To see her cry the way she did..well no words could describe it, guilt, guilt and more guilt. Heartbreaking.

I sit in my office chair continously staring at the last little piece of her I have left. Her laugh was husky yet soft like a tiny gust of air. I could listen to it endlessy. I'd do anything to get her to laugh just so I could listen. It called me, it seduced me. She didnt know her own elegance, the untouched moments of beauty on her face. A careless yawn or delicately munching on her food or when she sighed heavily, a testament to her tiredness. All these little things, they called me further to her.

The night we first became lovers plays out, projecting in my mind. I see her in a lilac nightgown that displays her youthful figure, floating about my home. She doesnt know the influence her presense has on me, she doesnt know how much I want her,  
that the display of her naked shoulders looking like white porclein is driving me mad. She's tidying her things away, smiling and laughing with me. Joking about this and that. She doesnt know how I feel about her and I dont know when it began but its there. Present and persistant. She sweeps her dark hair over her shoulder, exposing the back of her perfect neck. She bends gracefully to collect a selection of magazines on my coffee table,she knows nothing of her own beauty but every night I watch her like this from afar, take time to look at her because right now its all I can do. She doesnt even know, does she? She has no clue.

"Nick.." she says, turning allowing her hair to follow course with her body and fall from shoulder. She doesn't disturb me from my admiration of her but I try not to be to obvious.  
"Im going to bed. Goodnight" She smiles gently and I watch her walk up to her room.

The temptation to follow her is hard to resist, to let her know how I feel but its difficult, its complicated. She'll be master of Kurain in a month or two, will she go and forget me? But...different things are calling us.  
So why, Pheonix, did you put her here in front of you, in your own home knowing you cant ever have her, not completley? I conclude that a part of me, this old ticker of mine thought perhaps she wouldn't go. I hang my head feeling selfish. Im falling in love with her..I know it right there and then, swivveling around on my breakfast bar stool. I see the burning bridge for perhaps only a second,feel my desperation to get to her and the heat of the flames. Instinctive reaction.

She has to know. She has to have knowledge of all the facts. Months I have to have with her. It feels right to be doing this.

I get up of my stool and with excitement filling my heart and my head, I walk with an unexpected confidence up the stairs. To her bedroom. The door is slightly a jar, the darkness of her room pouring out and contrasting with the landing light. Its sets my shadow up agaisnt the wall.

I stop breifly to hear my head beating faster and faster with anticipation. Im this close. I enter her room, feeling calmer surrounded by the black. It cloaks my nervousness, my slight uncertainty. I approach her form in the bed, sliding into the blankets, beside her body.  
its radiating warmth.

I feel fingertips that are cool to the touch, they encircle my neck. "Nick, I've been waiting"...her voice is filled with purpose, hurried, urgent. But I can hear her desire too.  
I take in all the of the moment, the feeling of her breathe, the touch of her skin, the smell of flowers emenating from it. I replay her words in my head. I beg this moment not to stop.  
Theres no conversation, the silence speaking volumes for both of us. Theres no conversation as I feel our lips meet, her taste filling my mouth. Our hearts are beating faster together, each others skin meeting one another.  
She mumbles "I love you", I say that I lover her too.

That night stretched out as an expanse of sense, a blur of heat and breathe. Time was endless with her. But in the morning we had found satisfaction in one another. I woke with more then I had the night before. I had her.

I smile contently having reminisced but the harsh beep of a passing car calls me into the present day. I go to the waste paper basket in the corner of my dimly-lit office, I let go of the old badge. The past had better days. The past had her. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 ~ Hero in a red jacket.

I sit on the bench outside Fey Manor. I feel nervous, my legs are tingling right down to my toes with anticipation. I wiggle my toes to retain their feeling but I cant summon life back to my poor digits . My cermonial robes are stuffy and difficult, I feel like a overdone purple tent with the volumes and volumes of decorative zori are stacked to the nines, the wedges providing an illusion of unrealistic height . I feel like an abnormally tall purple tent. I feel like the butterflies are popping in my stomach again and a nervous inclination causes me to fiddle with the uncomfortable hair ornaments, they dangle from my head like miniture weights and to think this is Kurain custom getting trussed up like a japanese doll and all for the benefit of outside visitors although Im not entriely sure this would really benefit anybody, an elegent lady would look like she's wearing a second skin but its me, Maya. I look like a child attempting dress up. He'll think I look silly then again maybe he always has. He wasn't ever an open book.  
He didn't ever say why he was coming. A few more butterflies burst, the thought of the mocking look appearing in my mind. I pace and twiddle my thumbs, worrying like the stereotypical goof and from the corner of my eye, I see it. I see the trademark red, the favoured red. Dark yet a strawberry shade. Its him, Its Mi-Mr Edgeworth. I halt like a dumbstruck deer in headlights in the middle of my awkward pace, turning my feet as tactfully as I can in such insensible shoes. My head's becoming dizzy and I feel the flush of deep heat rise instantly to my face. I wave, my limbs locking with slight fear. The kind of fear you feel for a mentor or teacher. The fear you feel when you constantly yearn for their respect but partially know that really you'll never be observed on an equal playing field. I dont think I was the first to have this feeling induced due to Mr Edgeworth's superior air, floating about him like a disgusting but overly expensive cologne.

He glides on his generated arrogance towards me and I prepare myself for that look, adjusting my robes here and there. I contemplate as to whether he can actually see me what with his head up his a-  
"Maya Fey" he gives me a short, controlled smile devoid of any real sense of courtesy. He always did do civil or any other social interaction on a mediocre level. His voice is same old too, the formal tone laced with severity. He kept everything he felt well contained, nothing got out nothing got in. Like clockwork, he produces a stiff, firm handshake setting my ornaments and jewellry swaying.  
"Mr Edgeworth, its a pleasure to see you. I bow at the waist, feeling the entirety of everything Im wearing dragging me almost to the centre of the Earth.  
"Likewise" he replies with all the genuine gusto of a programmed android. He eyeballs me with his all intensive stare as I attempt to recover from my greeting. So much effort for not alot. He analyses the period costume Im wearing and I see the perfectly groomed eyebrow begin to arch and I feel sunddenly bound and obliged to explain my attire.  
"Its..uh..traditional costume. For the Master of Kurain. Which is me" (smoothe Maya, real smoothe). He laughs! a genuine burst of rich, deep masculine laughter. For a handeful of seconds Mr Edgeworth forgets himself albiet at my expense but the none the less the ice melts.  
"I see a position of authority hasn't gone to your head, Maya" He smiles at me broadley. Its feels like two old friends reuniting. Its a pleasent feeling. I smile goofily in return, wide and all teeth.  
"Its an adjustment" I scratch my head as an additional nervous habit, feeling a tad embarrassed.  
"I can imagine but thats why I've come to see you"  
"because its an adjustment?" I blink, my mind several miles behind his.  
"No because the Master of Kurain is the exact person I have to see" He looks serious and preoccupied interweaved "Well whatever it is, Mr Edgeworth, I'll be glad to be of assistance" I attempt a fond smile of reassurance.  
"Thankyou Maya, we really do appreciate this"  
"We?" I feel puzzled. Im definate his didnt refer to a second person on the phone.  
"Did I not say? Wright will be arriving too. We discussed the issue at hand on the phone and he agreed to come. It also appears he has an invested interest of his own" He looks at me with a knowing expression that results in a heavy blush centreing on the apple of my cheeks. I suddenly fell incredibly warm.  
"He's coming here?" Im almost asking myself this question. My mind removes itself from the conversation as I feel my heart pumping faster. I can hear my blood circulating in my ears. His name resonates over and over and over again. I smile a private little smile to myself.  
"Is there an issue with that?" he says, his voice jarring with my thoughts of Nick.  
"No, not at all. In fact I was thinking of going to see him before you called me...it would be...amazing to see him again. More then amazing" I cant withold my eagerness.  
"I must warn you Maya...Wright is muched changed. The years havent particularly kind to him, as Im sure you've read from the papers but what Im trying to say is dont expect the same Wright you used to know". I see a hint of concern in Mr Edgeworth's dimly lit, bottomless eyes. Concern for his old friend.  
I think of the attorney badge, it spirals in my mind enveloping all my thoughts together. longing and sorrow and hard, hard regret are all pinned to that badge, hanging off tenderly Nick and the badge. Their like a co-exsistance. One without the other and they cant exsist. He falls hostage to the shadows in the dark. Without his badge the darker things that called him, call him in and he stumbles in blind, armourless. Was he swallowed up by the things in the dark? I think he was. My heart heaves. "I already knew Mr Edgeworth. Nick had different things calling him" 


End file.
